List of Lists

1. Wake up

2. End snooze

3. Make a mental list of what to do today starting from now until I get back to bed tonight

I’m a big list fan. I think it’s highly influenced by *ahem* some influential people in my life (especially this one person who writes lists for others to follow!!!). Knowing that I can be as random as marshmallow in your left sock, I think lists are quite useful to get things going. Since the subliminal conversion to organized listings, I’ve been having A6 sized (quarter of A4) papers on a mini clipboard ready for my pen to hit it with a long list. It could be things to do, things to buy, baking recipe, baking instructions, movies I want to watch, bills to pay, steps for closing at Subway, jobs to apply for, money I owe people, and a list of lists I have to create.

Sometimes it may not entirely work (you know unexpected circumstances may arise), but I still like to follow some things I scribbled on the little piece of paper. Just when you think I’m the most chaotic person you can find, well, guess you’ve got to search for another anarchic candidate when you see the list of my lists on the mini clipboard.

With the list, I won’t be too rigid about it. If I can’t do it, I can’t do it. No biggy. But one thing grave about making lists—when the list is about my doubts, my failures, my debts, my rejected applications, my incompetency, my mistakes… well, you get where I’m headed to.

I don’t write these down on paper to make myself read them out loud to evoke suicide. But it’s a mental list I’d automatically make which leads to mild depression. Seriously… not fun at all. And it is always a conscious effort for me to remove it from the ironically messed up head, to give space for joy and pure thrill for life. Susah payah…

Things to do:

1. Finish the ‘things to do’ list

2. Throw away mental list of negative points about self

3. Get a life. A listless one. Well… maybe not totally listless… but with useful lists

4. Remind readers to remove marshmallow from left sock